Parenting.com teaches grown-ups how to be mostly great and perfect bringer-uppers of rad kids. They’ve just compiled a list of some affordable-fer-days style Mother’s Day gifts. One of our most popular noodles, the Badminton Tote, was thrown maje props on this magical list action. Click on the photo to scope the wide spectrum of Just Fer Mom non-wallet busters that Parenting Dot Com covers!
Sidenote: OMG, did anyone see Gossip Girl tonight?
Any gal bold enough to devote her entire record album to her undying love of
Daniel LaRusso = INSTA BESTIE.
Sis Teet’s newest (ye olde) musical obsesh.
Bellbottoms fer days!
Since blog crazy Sis Teet is on semi-lifelong vision quest in Mexico with limited internetz access, we have asked her wordsmith bestie, SB, to bust out a few top notch posts. Ladydude is a literary visionary and her written word has made us tinkle our dark denims on more occasions than we feel comfortable publicly counting. That said, get into it!
The Febbies!
Yes, it’s February, a traditionally miserable 28 days (or 29, should the year leap) filled with bad weather, stale Russell Stover candies filled with mystery nougat, and that annoying silent R. In order to keep spirits up, I’ve decided to start the Febbie Awards, which are imaginary lavender gold award statues, shaped like the “check tire light” on my dashboard that won’t go off, that also come with a cash prize of $1.3 million spacebucks. So let’s congratulate our winners, who have done their part to make my February just slightly less excruciating. Kudos!
Best food: Life Cereal - Maple and Brown Sugar flavor
Let’s say, if you had your druthers, every day would begin with a giant breakfast featuring waffles covered in fresh fruit and the maple syrup (the good Vermont grade A stuff, not flavored brown sticky stuff in a bottle shaped like a maid), scrambled egg whites n’turkey sausage (protein is important and stuff!), fresh juice, and a tasteful bouquet in a delicate glass vase, all served by a nice gentleman who smells like Irish Spring, can make waffles, and knows how to fix the tire light problem in your stupid car. Now, let’s say that in real life you have an enormous Amex bill, are as single as a dollar bill, and are one waffle away from having to go back to your fat pants. Luckily for you, a bowl of Maple and Brown Sugar Life cereal is as close to that dream breakfast as you’re gonna get, and since it basically tastes like a pile of pigmy waffles, it’s pretty f’n excellent. Tastes good in almond milk (mixed with tears).
Best TV Product: The Snuggie (in theory)
My house doesn’t so much have heat– it has one mysterious wall gas heat unit in the kitchen, which, when turned on, is basically a box of fire– but, this being Los Angeles, heat isn’t supposed to be a big deal. Sadly, it’s been 50 degrees and rainy almost every day, and when your house is made out of cardboard and bummers, the chill tends to seep in. Like everybody, I’ve seen the ads for the Snuggie. Also like everybody, I am trying to keep myself from buying stupid stuff on TV (so I can buy important stuff, like food, and 31 Corn Lane bags, and gas for my firebox). So I decided to get industrious and sit on the couch wearing my bathrobe backwards. Presto! Snuggie, meet the Cheapie! Perfect for sitting around, eating Maple and Brown Sugar Life cereal, and daydreaming about dudes who smell good and can fix cars.
Best hope on the horizon: Minor League Baseball
I’m not really much of an athlete (although, if Danica Patrick is considered an athlete for driving a car, then my daily commute in LA would make me nothing short of a jock). Also, I find televised sports tedious, and, while going to see live sporting events is surprisingly entertaining, the total price of tickets, pretzel, parking etc would be better spent on going to the Toyota dealer and getting that stupid tire light f’n fixed already. My most favorite professional sport is baseball, because A, a lot of the players are fat, B, I am from New England where not liking baseball can get you punched, and C, not only are a lot of the players fat, but they’re also kind of slow. Like me! Luckily, there’s Minor League Baseball, where you can go see the stars of tomorrow (or really the high school players of 4 months ago), usually for less than $20. Tickets for the upcoming season are just going on sale, and even in Brooklyn, there are Cyclones tickets for as little as $6, plus you get to go to Coney Island and sit on the boardwalk afterwards eating hotdogs with new friends from Bensonhurst (or maybe that’s just me). Or, if you’re in my dreams, you can go to a Fishercats game in NH and meet that car-fixin, soap-smellin’ waffle makin’ guy you’ve spent all those hours conjuring up while lying around in your Cheapie.
Anyway, congrats again to our winners, who have gotten me through February thus far. And if you didn’t make the cut, no worries — the Marchies are only a few weeks away!
Yr friend,
SB
Hot on the Hooves of St. Valentine!
Now that all of our crusty Brach’s mini-hearts (Be Mine! Call Me! True Love! U R Cute!) and a not-so-petit amount of chocolatey petit fours have been sufficiently powerstuffed, we’re ready to hop onto our scrappy mini-ponies and hoof it right along to our next big 31CL February sale! Wontcha join us? We just love company.
For the next two weeks only, any available tote in our wildly popular HEARTS and HORSES collection can be found galloping off the shelves for only 12 dollars! WOAH, NELLY! 12 dollars? That’s right. All canvas goodies of the equestrian variety can be found here at our Ye Olde Tote Shoppe Pony Corrale –
Check it out, cowgirl!
xoxo, 31CL
(Aim, Heath, Teet)
Let’s get down to brass tacks here, people! Taylor Swift, that ground breaking country crossover teennotteen golden-locked tall drink of water, and her emo twang tunery, so totally 3000% cannot be denied. She’s blurring every boundary; born of the sometimes painful sounding contemporary country musics machine, yet so melodically eem she could waste Conor Oberst in a sad-off. Tapped in enough to 80’s hair metal to perform entire live show collabos with Def Leppard, yet so lucid and honest in (singlehandledly, f’reals!) crafting her country-lite jams that you’d think she’d taken lessons on heartfelt-edness from Lucinda Williams. Wholesome enough to play for Mom and kid sis! Covertly aggro enough that scorned high school ladydudes worldwide think she’s written each song specifically for them, all about that one dude who sucks! Yeah, that one! Man, does he suck or what?
TaySwift has giant hair and a giant heart. She pulls off cowboy boots and frills for days knee-length dresses with total finesse. She loves The Academy Is, like any committed 20th wave mainstreamo teen should. Proof that it all works out in the end: apparently she went through an extendo awkward phase and kids were mean to her in grade school. Whose laughing now, former unkind classmates!? Put that exclusive WalMart sundress collection she just inked a ginormo deal for in yr bully chat room and smoke it.
OWCH!
On a keepin’ it posi note, these videos just might melt yer heart. Or make you strongly question or current taste fer musics. Such is life!
This week Sis Teet hoofed it to DC to welcome our nation’s exciting new Head Pony-In-Charge, Barack Obama, into office! While the Nog-O-Ration itself was a total fantastic superfiasco, at points finding Teet and her bestie SB laying facedown on cardboard boxes under a dead tree on the National Mall, in below freezing temps, desperately waiting for the crowd of 2 million to filter out of one tiny exit - it was still an honor to be part of the historic outdoor jam. We were able to snag a spot in the coveted Silver ticket section, next to a posse of politicos who were sincerely overflowing with personality. We sang tunes by Earth, Wind + Fire, Prince and The Beatles. We danced the Electric Slide. We giggled and screamed. We cheered Mariah and Nick Cannon when they popped up on the Jumbotron (jiggah what!?). We at the secret snax stuffed into our winter coats and powerpopped Advil cause our backs hurt so bad from standing for 5 hours in a row. We cried tears of hot chocolate as he was sworn in. Not to mention that we rode our bikes like a zillion miles in order to get there. All in all, it was way rad. Waaaaaaaay rad.
In summing up, let’s stay optimistic, people! Good times are ahead. Also, Sasha and Malia are just THE CUTEST EVER.
31 CORN LANE V-DAY POEM
- by 31 Corn Lane
We look out for our ladies on Valentimes
Wif a val-u-pack of goodies fer cheaps!
So girl, send this here link to yr boyfriend
And git a 31CL trio fer keeps!
Our whole set - Giant Shopper, Quilted Scarf and Clutch Wallet - is goin’ for only $45 beans.
Thing is, it’s normally $75. We are so busting out the bro deal!
So tell yr special dude to man up and make it happen.
And remember: hang tuff, you look great out there!
xoxo The Sperber Sisters of 31CL
